Bumper sticker wisdom: Medium is rear

Since it is election season in both India and the United States, some thoughts about the nature of campaigning in the two countries. Indian elections are noisy, colorful, energetic and vibrant. American elections, in comparison, are generally more sanitized and are largely a made-for television spectacle.
India also lacks, mercifully, two major features of the US exercise.The American campaign is long-winded – lasting almost a year -- and they are expensive, costing more than a billion dollars by the time the polls close. By contrast, we are done in a month or so for a relative pittance given our scale.
The two systems are different in one other respect. Indians canvass with graffiti, posters, banners, buntings, hoardings and those awful cut-outs. Americans are more low-key in public, and use TV ads to beam messages copiously.
American citizens also don''t hesitate to express their political preferences through the medium of bumper stickers on their cars. Considering that the automobile boom is underway in India, it is surprising that Indians haven''t got stuck into the bumper sticker craze. It may be coming.
As the election season warms up here, Americans are already beginning to say their two cents – or two dollars -- worth of political wisdom. Those of Republican persuasion have bumper stickers that warn that "The road to hell is paved with Democrats." Democrats twit back with "Re-elect Bush: I''m tired of waiting for the Apocalypse"
A Democrat friend swears she can identify party affiliation simply by the vehicle a person is driving. She herself drives a small-sized Toyota Echo sporting a bumper sticker that reads "What''s worse? Screwing an intern or screwing a country?" She says other small car drivers, typically Democrats, honk their appreciation when they read it. But big vehicles, usually gas guzzling sports utility vehicles (SUVs) try and intimidate her.
Bill Clinton attracted a fair bit of bumper sticker sarcasm during his term. "Clinton doesn''t inhale, he SUCKS," read a popular one during the tail-end of his term (pun distended).
Hillary Clinton too has her share of detractors. Even the prospect of her running for president brought out the baiters. "I don''t trust President Clinton (or her husband)," read one. Two others were "Impeach Clinton. And her husband," and, "Presidents should be planned and wanted. ABORT CLINTON!"
But Bush is proving to be a match for the Clintons. Among the ones in vogue – "Regime change starts at home," and "Haven''t we had enough Bush-it?"
Of course, there are those who don''t care a flying fig for politicians. "Forget the Flag. Burn a Politician," reads one sticker. Another says: "Democrat/ Republican: Same Stink, Different Pile." My favourite is "I love my country. It''s the government I''m afraid of"
The Internet Age also brought with it new dotcom – or dot come – stickers such as "www.sex@myplace.com.now" The most popular ones remain comments about others'' driving. The hottest one says -- "A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest???"
Beep Beep.